Self-Motivation - Life Coaching With a Smile

We have covered two very important sections of emotional intelligence, self-awareness and self-regulation. Today we will talk about something I am passionate about, Self-Motivation. It is another part of our Emotional Intelligence.

How many times have you said to yourself, “I just can’t get motivated to do that.” Or “I need some motivation.” Unfortunately, Amazon will not be dropping it on your porch along with your “deal of the day”!

Self-Motivation. You can’t buy it, you can’t get it by wishing. You gotta work for it, and dig down to get it. Self-motivation is an important part of succeeding at life. You must motivate yourself because others cannot do it for you. You have to know how to encourage yourself on good days (no coasting) and on less than good days (it’s there, find it.) Andrew Carnegie said it best with his quote:

“People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents.”

Self-Motivation is what pushes us to achieve our goals, feel more fulfilled and improve our overall quality of life.

Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation

It certainly helps to be knowledgeable about what you are doing. But, without proper motivation neither you nor your work will be as good as it could be. It is simple really. When we want to do something for whatever reason (our health, esthetics, self-improvement, etc.) and/or we really enjoy our work, we meet our goals and we are more productive. We go the extra mile; we do better work. It’s enjoying what we do or why we are doing it that gets us motivated. This is intrinsic self-motivation. It comes from within. It fuels you with desire to overcome a challenge, to make things better.

On the other hand, there is extrinsic motivation. This is when you’re encouraged by external factors to achieve your goals. More money, time off, nicer things, threats of job loss, fear of losing friends or doing something to save face. These are extrinsic motivators and not self-motivation.

Self-Motivation Primer

Self-Motivation starts with knowing what you want to achieve. Whether it is small like cleaning out a closet or large like losing weight, quitting smoking, getting a promotion or finding a new job, it all starts with setting a goal. We must be clear about what it means for us and how working on this goal affects those around us. This enables us to focus on the benefits and results we envision, rather than the barriers and fears that are holding us back.

Set SMART Goals

Setting a goal is the first step. Writing down your action plan with steps to achieve the goal is also important. Using my SMART Goal Worksheet can help you make workable goals.

The plan should also be flexible to anticipate the occasional setback and take into account that any goal worth reaching is going to have complications along the way. If it is a long range or major goal, incorporating short-term goals or milestones will help keep you motivated. It will also give you successes to refer back to when things get tough. Making realistic goals, executing an action plan and celebrating small wins will help overcome obstacles and stay on track.

Commit to Your Goals

A fundamental part of self-motivation is in honoring our commitments. If we make commitments to ourselves or others, and we break them, we risk disappointing ourselves and limiting our ability to achieve our goals. Breaking commitments to others can send a message that we are unreliable and it can reduce our credibility. Stepping back from your commitment for a legitimate reason is understandable. Getting back at it and resuming where you left off puts you back on the road to success.

Motivate Others

Practicing self-motivation within the scope of emotional intelligence, means we must also positively motivate others. There is no room for bribery or fear tactics. Showing integrity and being optimistic with others helps us to be strong motivators. Not only do actions speak louder than words, motivating others serves as a reinforcement to keep yourself motivated. Being successful at self-motivation means being ready to embrace opportunities and keep striving toward improving with drive and commitments.

Move On

Most people struggle with self-motivation at different times during their life. Have you ever noticed the similarity between the words emotion and motivation? It is not coincidental. The Latin stem, -mot, means “move.” In many cases, an emotion is something that motivates you. For example, if you are happy, you are moved-energized-motivated to do something that you believe will help you maintain the happy feeling. Goleman defines an emotional mature individual in this category to have traits such as having goals and initiative, the commitment to complete a task, and having perseverance in the face of adversity.

How to Keep Yourself Motivated

Healthdirect.gov has ideas on how to maintain your motivation:

Positive self-talk is important and effective in managing depression or anxiety. Instead of saying ‘I can’t’, say ‘I can try’.
Mindfulness can keep you focused.
Use your family and friends as support – tell them about your goals and encourage them to help keep you motivated.
Make your goal part of your routine by using a diary or app for reminders.
Start a class or join a support group. Support groups can be as effective as professional help.
Reward yourself when you have completed a step or goal.
Regularly review your goals and progress. Seeing progress is a great motivator in itself
Continue to set new goals.
Surround yourself with positive people. People who support your motivation by word or deed likely have high emotional maturity

Self-Motivation Conclusion

“There are three areas of personal skills or competences in emotional intelligence. Self-regulation, self-awareness and self-motivation. Self-motivation includes our personal drive to improve and achieve, commitment to our goals, initiative, or readiness to act on opportunities, and optimism and resilience.” skills you need.com.

These three skills can help you maintain personal relationships, manage stress and depression and be more productive and successful. Next week we will tackle the last two areas of emotional intelligence. These encompass the areas of social and interpersonal skills.