After our most recent article, Mindfulness for Health and Happiness, I was happy to get several responses from readers who said they are getting a glimmer of what mindfulness might be. Yet they were still a little lost about how to use mindfulness as a tool to control stress and other emotional issues. Remember in the beginning we practice mindfulness but eventually it will become a trait.
Our goal right now is to be able to use mindfulness to handle the stress and anxiety of the coming holidays. Here we will talk about several different mindfulness approaches, mindfulness steps, we all can use to make life less stressful.
Mindfulness Defined
Part of the definition of mindfulness is to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. Knowing this will help us take the next step.
Being mindful is being aware. So if you get angry and about to lose your temper or you become so stressed you want to scream, are you aware of it? Can you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed and overreacting? If you were aware, being mindful, you could stop the escalation, stop the angry outburst, stop stressing by employing one of the many mindfulness techniques to let your brain relax and keep you in the present. Research published in the Journal of Research in Personality shows that present-moment awareness, a key feature of mindfulness increases stress resilience and effective coping.
Mindfulness and Stress
“Stress is the brain and body’s response to change, challenge, or demand. It is the body’s natural defense against danger brought on by an event or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, or nervous. When a stressful event occurs, the body is flooded with hormones to avoid or confront danger. This is commonly referred to as the fight-or-flight response. Stress can become a chronic condition if the proper steps to manage it are not taken.” https://www.mindful.org/how-to-manage-stress-with-mindfulness-and-meditation/
We know that stress can actually help us if it urges us to meet a deadline or run from danger. But the stress response should dissipate quickly. If it doesn’t the cortisol release and the adrenaline pump wears you down. Did you know that the more stressed you are the narrower your focus becomes, and when we are calmer we have a wider view? So how do we get from angry, stressed, and overwhelmed to just feeling relaxed? What do we lean on? How do we help ourselves?
Mindfulness Steps
Here are a few ideas that can put us in a calmer place. The following are the steps that make mindfulness a tool to control stress. The four mindfulness steps are:
1. Breathing
Let’s begin with one that takes about 2 minutes and you can do anywhere. Breathing. Anyone can do this. I wish I would have taught this to my children and I definitely wish I would have known more about this growing up. I heard, “if you are angry count to ten.” Same principal, giving your mind a break to step away and calm down. If you actually concentrate on your breathing, you stop thinking about the anger or stress reaction or stage fright or many other things.
I recommend box breathing as it’s easy to follow and takes 2-3 minutes. Many of us know box breathing as “foursquare” breathing. It is illustrated below. To do this technique, envision a box in front of you’ Inhale deeply as you visualize slowly sliding across the top of the box to a four count. Slide down the side slowly to a four count as you hold the breath. Exhale slowly as you slide across the bottom of the box for a four count. Then slowly hold your breath and slide up the side for a four count. Repeat a few times until you feel more in control.
The target of your mindfulness is your breath and you just focus on breathing. This simple act activates a calming response in your body, lowering your heart rate and blood pressure.
2. Be Kind – To Yourself
Be mindful (aware) observe and notice (without judgment) the emotions that happen when something goes wrong. Everyone makes mistakes and that it’s part of being human. Treat yourself as kindly as you would a friend who made a mistake.
3. Create a Path to Connect
After shelter and food, our greatest need is to connect with other people. If you take care of yourself with breathing, self-compassion and other mindfulness techniques, you will have ability to focus outward and connect.
4. Practice Kindness
You just put a dent in your brand new car, and then a friend calls in panic and needs a help. Mindfulness provides self-control, objectivity, flexibility, equanimity, emotional intelligence and the ability to relate to others with kindness, acceptance and compassion. It increases your well-being tremendously when everything is “not all about me”.
Mindfulness: A Tool to Control Stress
Can mindfulness reduce our stress level during the holidays and really most days? Being aware of our emotions and what’s going on around us allows us to handle stressful situations first by breathing. This gives us room to enlarge our focus to a bigger picture that allows us to be kind to ourselves, and reach out to connect to and help others. Check in with yourself, and be aware of your needs as well as the needs of those around you.
“Many people who practice mindfulness report an increased ability to relax, a greater enthusiasm for life and improved self-esteem.” newsinhealth.nih.gov
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