We all carry emotional baggage. It is different for all of us. The problem most people have is that they let their emotional baggage rule their lives. This is because we don’t know how to unpack this baggage. Instead, we carry it into every corner of our lives.
Not only is emotional baggage different for everyone, people are affected differently by the same event. Being fired may devastate one person while another takes it in stride. It is a combination of fear, pain, insecurities and inhibitions emerging from our life experience. It may manifest as PTSD, (not just military persons, also rape, abuse, and trauma victims); trust issues; paranoia worry and fear; being defensive by extreme anger or the silent treatment; and insecurity featuring low self-esteem and/or needing constant attention and validation.
How To Get Rid Of Emotional Baggage
This baggage has built up over time and cannot be cast aside overnight. On the contrary, it needs consistent work and effort. Many people find it helpful to enlist the help of a coach or other professional to help keep consistent. Here are some actionable tips to help get started.
Learn to Forgive
If you want to stop carrying this emotional baggage, you must learn to forgive. When we forgive, we let go of the emotional baggage that can keep us back. Forgiveness frees our hearts and minds, and lets us live in peace. Forgiving does not mean we do not work through our feelings (it’s okay to cry!), and we don’t let people be unkind or unfair to us. Being able to forgive is a personal health skill that puts you on a life path that can help you drop that emotional baggage you’ve been dragging along. Therefore, forgiving someone else is something you do for yourself.
List the things that weigh you down
Grab a pen and notebook, find a quiet space, and spend thirty to forty minutes thinking and writing. Write an honest list of the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that weigh you down. Then reflect on each item and identify the source of the thought or belief. Acknowledge the painful memories but don’t wallow in them. Write it down and move on to the next step.
See the positive
Find at least one positive in each hurtful experience/situation. Remember the person who bullied you, then remember how important kindness feels. It is important to see your life through the prism of ‘glass half full’. When you choose to see life and situations positively, dealing with emotional baggage becomes easier. Looking for the good in the past helps you reclaim your power. You decide what you take from that experience.
Never isolate yourself
Being around people and socializing may seem like the hardest thing to do. It is so much easier to avoid possible triggers. If you want to begin to unpack your emotional baggage, you must accept the importance of not isolating yourself. Surround yourself with family and friends, take your positives you found in the last step and make them daily affirmations; an affirmation like “I will practice kindness.” Positive affirmations include positive phrases and statements repeated to help challenge negative thoughts and encourage positive changes in your life.
Practice self-care
When you are in the middle of dealing with emotional baggage it can be stressful. Be sure to practice self-care. Get enough sleep and a proper diet and exercise. Be your own best friend. Practice patience and mindfulness. It takes time to change habits especially those rooted in deep hurts or fears. Check in with yourself regularly using journaling or meditation.
In conclusion, Bruce Springsteen, has some wise words on the subject:
“You can find your identity in the damage done to you. You find your identity in your wounds, in your scars, in the places where you’ve been beat up and you turn them into a medal. We all wear the things we’ve survived with some honor, but the real honor is in also transcending them.”
Related Article: Emotional Ballast vs Baggage
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