I have received many questions over the last weeks many of them about holiday stress and how to handle things. Holiday stress can spoil what should be one of the best times of the year. In future articles I will cover two of the most asked-about stressors: over-spending and managing expectations.
Over-eating
Q-1. I always over eat during the holidays and end up hating myself. So no matter how strong my reserve I break down. Any tips?
A-1 The holiday season is full of so many good things. Good friends, good music, good entertainment and good food. Obviously, that good food and drink can get us in trouble. The thing that works best for me, before I go to a party or out for a meal with friends, is to drink a glass of water and pre-eat some healthy protein.
If you are an emotional eater, the holidays or perhaps just being with your family can trigger you into overeating. So be pro-active. Pre-eat and watch what you drink. Also, if they stress you, spend as little time with family as you can or dilute the mix of people. Ask a friend along as a buffer if it doesn’t work at least you’ll have an ally.
More Giving-Less Receiving
Q-2 “My family is all about the getting. All I hear is “I want, I want.” How can I help them see the giving side to Christmas?”
A-2 It is so easy to get caught up in shopping and buying all the stuff (I am so,so guilty of this.) We can easily find STUFF to give our kids but how do we teach them the power of giving? One way is to be a good example and share your actions with them.
If you donate time or money to food banks, explain to the kids what you are doing and why. Then, if you do something to help church or charity, let them help. For example, encourage them to give away lightly used toys or books. You can easily find those in need on your neighborhood pages. Let the kids know the impact of their gift.
Help them make gifts to give to family members, popsicle-stick-frame a photo of them with grandpa or aunt, draw a picture of a memory with grandma or bake cookies and deliver to neighbors. It will improve Christmas for everyone concerned.
Grief
Q-3 “I lost a close family member between Thanksgiving and Christmas last year. The closer Christmas gets, the more un-Christmas I feel. How can I get out of this without feeling guilty?”
A-3. The anniversary effect is defined as thoughts and memories that cause physical and emotional pain every year. It occurs on a specific date or time period of significant trauma. Along with many of you, I have had to deal with this myself.
Holiday Stress Wrap-up
My Mother died on the day after Christmas almost 8 years ago. I had a friend who told me the best thing to do was to talk. That helps.
The other thing I do is honor her memory by doing. Bake the cookies she baked, donate to charities, and teach my kids things she taught me. I still miss her but I concentrate on the good stuff.
Related Article: Christmas Stress
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