Research has shown that social interaction and friendship offers older adults many benefits. Connection with others not only allows us to survive but also to thrive. People who engage in meaningful, productive activities with others tend to live longer, boost their mood, and have a sense of purpose. Clearly making friends and having friends are good for us. How do we make and keep friends especially in today’s world? Here are some ideas.
Get creative about meeting up and making new friends.
Reaching out to those you’ve lost touch with, is often easier than making new friends. You already have established trust and you know you have things in common. Look through your phone and call people you haven’t talked with in awhile.
Be receptive to meeting friends of friends and you can do the same for others. This can grow your social circle easily. Got a problem? Ask your friends if they know anyone that can help. I needed help with a crochet sweater pattern and a friend gave me a name and now I talk to my new friend about yarn and crochet from time to time.
You can join virtual events on line, a book club, a writing group, an exercise group. Facebook has a group for everything. Another good choice is to join Wisdo.com. Wisdo gives you many avenues to connect with people of like minds. It also gives you an opportunity to help others.
Volunteer
Volunteering provides many benefits to both mental and physical health. Plus it gives you the opportunity to meet like minded people many of whom can become life long friends.
Volunteering helps counteract the effects of stress, anger, and anxiety. Helping and working with others can have a profound effect on your overall well-being.
Volunteering makes you happy. By measuring hormones and brain activity, researchers have discovered that being helpful to others delivers immense pleasure.
Volunteering increases self-confidence.and a sense of purpose. Older adults, especially those who have retired or lost a spouse, can find new meaning and direction in their lives by helping others.
Whatever your age or life situation, volunteering can help take your mind off your own worries, keep you mentally stimulated, and add more zest to your life. During covid you can still volunteer. In today’s digital age, many organizations need help with writing, graphic design, email, and other web-based tasks.
Where to find volunteer opportunities
- Community theaters, museums, and monuments.
- Libraries or senior centers.
- Service organizations such as Lions Clubs or Rotary Clubs.
- Local animal shelters, rescue organizations, or wildlife centers.
- http://volunteermatch.gov
- http://volunteer.com
Stay connected to old friends
Keeping In touch with friends now may not be in-person but it can still be personal.
Everything old is new again. Write letters and send cards to friends and family. Send a text ‘just to say “hi” (or for no reason). Have a video or phone meet up. Don’t automatically give up on old friends just because they moved away or you haven’t been in touch for awhile. For all you know, they might be in the same situation as you. However you choose to stay in touch, keep it going: send monthly postcards or change it up with a photograph you’ve taken, or a recipe you found you know they will love. These all say I’m thinking about you and I’m glad we are friends.
Talk frankly about your friendship.
Open, honest conversations can help friendships by establishing shared events, expectations and trust. Adult friendships are about how you fit and what you are willing to share. In this pandemic many people feel lonely, overwhelmed or scared. Sharing what you are feeling and qhat you are going through establishes a bond and a potential lifeline.
Make the ordinary extraordinary
Zoom calls not for you? Not a texter? Bored and alone? Turn some of your ordinary chores into friendship calls. I know two ladies who talk every Thursday over the grocery ads. They see what’s on sale, talk about and share recipes and catch up on the news of each other’s families. Have a friend that likes those Matchmaking or Talent shows, talk to each other while they are on. Find something that you both love (or hate) and do it together.
Other Tips for Making Friends
Meetup
Dubbed as the place to “discover events for all the things you love,” meetup.com allows you to start a group or meet others with similar interests in already-established groups. Want to find people to hike with? Go to meetup.com, type in “hiking” and your town’s name, and you’ll see lots of groups and scheduled events.
Nextdoor
An online hub at nextdoor.com lets you connect with neighbors who share information on everything from how to find local services to asking for help in finding a lost pet. You can get the inside scoop, send messages, ask questions, take a poll and get alerts.
Social media
Put out the word that you’re moving and want to meet friends of friends in your new area.
Religious services
Churches, mosques and synagogues are important to many people and now many places of worship are offering online services.
Have you used any of these ideas to stay connected? Will you try any of the ideas about making new friends? What other ideas do you have?
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