As an experienced retirement coach and relationship coach, I have learned that retirement is not always the easy, good life most of us worked for.
Retire! (but not from Life)
Retirement can be a blessing. “Retirement is a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked.” (Catherine Pulisfer) Retirement can also be a curse: “The trouble with retirement is you never get the day off.” (Abe Lemons)
Our careers provide structure to our lives five days a week, and weekends can be consumed by chores and rest. The cycle starts all over again Monday morning. But once you leave your job for good, there’s suddenly a lot of time to fill. Have you truly thought through how you will fill that time in retirement?
“Retire from work, but not from life.” (M.K. Soni)
Have you found retirement a blessing, a curse or both? Did your retirement plan include a plan for your free time? Have you every considered getting a retirement coach? A relationship coach?
Retirement Coach Advises: Stay Social
Maintaining an active social life gets harder with age. Little by little people we were close to move away or pass away. Moreover, have you noticed that friends and family that you have known, seem to be less fun and often times aggravating? Psychologist William von Hippelhat argues that “the filtering part of our brain, which inhibits inappropriate or negative thoughts, gradually weakens. Without that filter, the idiosyncrasies and eccentricities of others we’ve tolerated in the past become more annoying.”
For our own well being, it is important to acknowledge this can and does happen. There is a reality behind the stereotype of the grouchy old person. You probably have known people whose filter has shut down.
By being aware, we can work on keeping an open mind. Be patient and understanding of our friends and family. Don’t let our less-tolerating brains take over.
Why Stay Social?
By staying socially connected you contribute to your own well-being. A good social life can be a good reason to get out of bed in the morning. It gives meaning to your life. Remember that being appreciated by friends boosts your self-esteem. You can also have someone to do things with. So it feels like we belong somewhere. But the best part is that having a social life and people you can count on make it easier to handle difficulties and stress.
Social isolation is a high health risk factor. It can be responsible for low self-esteem, and depression. Furthermore, those who are socially disconnected are at risk for high blood pressure, heart disease, a break down of cognition, a loss of walking, climbing or getting up and down from seated position.
Retirement Coach: “Here’s how to fix it”
How do you maintain a healthy social life? The answer is to spend time with people. Keep old friends and be open to new ones. Also welcome participating in new activities. Then too, balance is important. Therefore aim for a social life that includes equal parts family and friends, equal parts giving and receiving and equal parts learning and teaching.
Try to meet up with current friends regularly, even the annoying ones. Then, be supportive and nurture these friends. (Regardless how difficult they are.)
Become computer savvy (if you aren’t already) and track down old friends from your past. Remember, social networking on the internet can be enriching and fun.
It is important to keep in touch with your family and interested in children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews. At least welcome the births adoptions and weddings. And don’t forget to support family members who lose a loved one. Family is often our first and best source of support.
You can join clubs that support your hobby or you can start one. For example, set up a club on an interest you have like hiking, wine tasting, books, traveling, movies, plays or concerts. Doing so not only keeps you social, but you can meet new people that share your interest. These activities are an excellent opportunity to learn or to teach. Set a goal. Make a plan. Do it for yourself. Do it for your health.
Are you as social as you want to be? Have you tried any of these ideas?
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