This article is about being self-aware and why it’s important to be self-aware. Many experts believe that emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness.
Why be Self-Aware?
I hope you have read our article on Understanding Emotional Intelligence. To summarize, Emotional Intelligence is a very important soft skill. Soft skills are personality traits and characteristics that are less quantifiable, and rooted in behavior, attitude and values. Much of what I read concludes that your Emotional Intelligence level (sometimes called EQ) is as big a factor in success as your IQ. And self-awareness is the starting point for emotional intelligence.
“Emotional Self-Awareness is the ability to understand your own emotions and their effects on your performance. You know what you are feeling and why—and how it helps or hurts what you are trying to do. You sense how others see you and so align your self-image with a larger reality.” Dan Goleman Emotional Self-Awareness: A Primer.
Dr. Tasha Eurich, self-awareness expert and best-selling author of Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think, believes that 95% of people think they are self-aware, but only about 15% of people actually are. Clearly there is a disconnect between perception and reality.
Two Kinds of Self-Awareness
There are two types of self-awareness: internal and external. Internal self-awareness is how we recognize and manage our own values, thoughts and emotions. Meanwhile, external self-awareness is how we are aware of how others see us and are able to adjust. You might feel like you are confident and decisive, but you are perceived as angry and bossy.
Many people are more aware in one area and less in the other thus creating four distinct profile types. Of these four types, the most highly internal and external self-aware people are actively focused on balancing the scale. As you can see, self-awareness isn’t just one focus, It’s a delicate balance of two separate equally important realizations.
When you are self-aware, you can see where you are being driven by your thoughts, observations and emotions. Self-awareness also allows you to be in control so you can make the necessary changes to get the outcomes you desire.
So, being self-aware can improve your decision-making, help you manage your emotions, lead to healthier reactions to external factor, boost your productivity and success. Positive self-awareness can also bolster your self-esteem, and strengthen your relationships.
Self-Awareness Tips
Because self-awareness is so very important, it is wonderful that, with a little effort, you can improve your internal and external awareness levels. Improving is a matter of willingness and behavioral change. You can find out what your awareness levels are with a little investigation. For example, there is a Self-Awareness Test on my website and many other quizzes and articles on-line. You also may already have an idea about how you want to improve. Here are some actions to get you started:
- Read more. Keep an open mind.
- Embrace change. Often this means you have to be willing to see yourself in a less-than-positive light. To get there, ya gotta go there.
- Identify your emotional kryptonite. Keep a journal. Watch for patterns.
- Utilize feedback. Helps tremendously to refine external awareness
- Try something new. New activities increase self-awareness by pushing us to step out of our box.
- Be aware of irrational thoughts. (Saying you are bad doesn’t make you bad)
- Travel, learn, observe.
- Make a time-line of your life. Record all the significant events.
- Define your values. Doing so will guide you to align what you believe in to what you do.
- Practice mindful meditation.
“Emotional Self-Awareness isn’t something that you achieve once. Every moment is an opportunity to be self-aware or not. It is a continual endeavor, a conscious choice to be self-aware. The good news is that the more you practice it, the easier it gets.” Kornferry.com
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